Case Study: Defensiveness could have prevented my promotion… or worse.

“Amy helped me find the root cause of my triggers and finally transform my mindset and behavior.”

Client

Head of Product, Series C SaaS company

Challenge

I was fed up with my longtime issue of becoming defensive when given constructive feedback or challenged and I was worried it would sabotage my most important relationships as well as my goal of getting a significant promotion. 

Solutions

Amy guided me to explore the root cause of my defensiveness, several steps further than I’d gone before, revealing new, useful and inspiring insights.

Amy taught me a tool to defuse myself when I get triggered before it gets out of hand; we also used it to help me dig deeper into the root of my pattern. I discovered something pivotal that went back a long time in my life.

With this new awareness, I am able to take a perspective that is more present, rational and compassionate. Amy had me experiment with it when receiving feedback.

The most pivotal and my most favorite tool of Amy’s was the Jungian coaching exercise. 

Amy also shared her Minimal Trigger Feedback Model, her anti-procrastination tool, a clever leadership self-assessment and an accountability system to use with my direct reports.

“Five sessions of Amy’s coaching was more impactful than nearly two years of therapy.”

Outcomes

I received a promotion! And I was asked to take on a big company strategy project by my boss’s boss, a VP, that will showcase my vision and leadership skills. 

Most importantly, Amy helped me find the root cause of my triggers and finally transform my mindset and behavior. Five sessions of her coaching was more impactful than nearly two years of therapy.

Amy helped me realize that the barrier to change for me was that I was still not accepting my authentic self. I was trying to hide what I thought were my flaws but that drives people away more than the flaws do. After learning how essential that self-acceptance is to change and growth, and having Amy take me through a unique and powerful Jungian coaching process, I was finally able to develop more empathy towards myself, including my younger self I had rejected out of unwarranted shame.

This about-face has made behavioral change so much easier. When I receive constructive feedback or am challenged now, I don’t react the way I did before. I can control my responses to triggers much more effectively now. I don’t take being questioned personally anymore; I now see that people who respect me will question or disagree with me sometimes and, if I welcome it, it often leads to our mutual learning, alignment, growth, and the most effective ideas emerging victorious. And it also yields a closer relationship with them to boot! I feel so much better about myself responding this way.

“I can control my responses to triggers much more effectively now.”

I watched a recording of myself when I got triggered while being questioned during a presentation. I actually thought I handled it well! I’m better at self-management now.

I'm also a lot more accepting of who I am which enables me to also be more accepting of others. 

Nowadays, because I spend a lot less time stewing on what’s wrong with other people, I sleep better. 

I learned a more effective and humane way to hold my direct reports accountable that is based in trust. Now I can put myself in an engineer’s shoes and have a direct conversation with them about an issue without judgment. 

Working with Amy, I realized that, for a long time, shame has been my main driver to achievement. I decided I wanted a new, positive source of motivation. Now I’m driven by learning, sharing knowledge, and nurturing my relationships. For example, I was recently given a big hairy project at work which really energized me because I get to work with a mentor of mine, explain a system I know well, and feel more connected to this team. I’m now focused more on what I can control, am less preoccupied with getting the next promotion. I love my job regardless.

“Now I’m driven by learning, sharing knowledge, and nurturing my relationships.”

Jungian coaching was my most favorite method Amy used – it accelerated change in me. And it’s so unique. I got more understanding about myself about why I had been stuck in overcoming the defensiveness than I did in more than two years of therapy. 

As a bonus, I’ll be using my newfound awareness and patience as my wife and I start a family so I don’t repeat the same pattern.

I highly recommend Amy Logan as a coach.